Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Ten on the Tenth... Advice from Botswana...

     I missed Ten on the Tenth so here are ten things I've learned from Mma Ramotswe, the Number 1 Lady Detective of Botswana.  (She has to be the number 1 lady detective because she is the only lady detective in all of Botswana. Also she is the reason I missed Ten on the Tenth yesterday -  because I was busy working hard (see point # 7 below), trying to analyze her case studies...)

1. Inside every bully, there is a frightened and unhappy person.  When you have to confront a bully, it is best to first show that you aren't intimidated and then address the rest of your remarks to the  person inside and not to the one on the outside.

2. Pointed shoes are pretty but no one has feet shaped like that. It's best to be realistic about traditionally shaped feet (and bodies) and even patriotic (in Botswana) to preserve the old ways, which include well-fed females.  This is probably the main reason I love Mma Ramotswe!!

3.  If your assistant ignores your advice about buying pointed shoes (see point # 2 above), it is best just to comment on how pretty the shoes are and ignore the way your assistant hobbles around until she can no longer walk.

4. If shoes that hurt your feet (see points 2 and 3 above) also give you happiness when you look at them (even if for only 1 day) then you didn't make a bad deal in the final analysis. Everyone needs a day of happiness now and then.

5. When people come to the agency and ask the detective to find out if their spouse is cheating on them, they already know.  They just need someone to confirm it so they can accept it.

6.  When the detective finishes their investigation into the case of unfaithful spouses (see point number 5 above), they have an obligation to tell the client the truth. But their main obligation is to the children, if any,  who may be affected by the investigation. The adults can handle things but children should not be made to suffer because their nose looks like the mailman's and not like their legal father's.  So the client must get some of the truth but maybe not all of it.  (When the child grows up and has finished college, he can figure out where his nose came from...)

7.  There are no problems that a cup of Bush Tea and the Number 1 Ladies' Detective Agency cannot solve.  And if a detective sits at her desk for a couple of hours without reading or writing anything, she is not wasting time.  Thinking is the most critical part of being a detective and it is hard work, requiring not 1 but several cups of Bush Tea.

8.  Trumpeters do not make good husbands. Mechanics do.  :)

9.  One more day without rain simply means the rainy season, which is literally the difference between life and death in Botswana, is one day closer, that is all.

10.  Women who "graduate" from the Botswana Secretarial School with 42% and who wear short skirts may get the best jobs right after graduation. However, women like the secretary of The Number 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, Mma Makutsi, with her 97% at the Botswana Secretarial School, her long skirts, and her huge glasses will eventually be the envy of the short-skirted 42 percenters who have disgraced themselves in heaven only knows what way under the desk with their bosses and who  will someday not be able to face themselves in the mirror...:)

11.  Ummm... math was never my forte...  At any rate, if you want to experience the Full Cupboard of Life,  and enjoy a pleasant afternoon In The Company of Cheerful Ladies, then get a cup of Red Bush Tea* (thanks, Susan!) and settle in for a visit with Mma Ramotswe, and Mma Makutsi at The Number 1 Ladies' Detective Agency.

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