Perhaps I should rename this blog - Gushings from a Geriatric... :) Or maybe Pre-Ramblings from a Post Menopausal???
There are some days when I'd like to go back in time; you may know what I'm talking about: return to the good old days when a head cold seemed like a serious illness, back before I became acquainted with Tylenol Extra Strength Arthritis Elixir of Life (or whatever it is called). Back when I thought my 40th birthday was absolutely light years away and that by the time it arrived, I would A) finally have it all together and B) would be able to remember each morning where I had left it from the night before.
However God, who knows what He is doing, made us so that we can only live in the present and we can only move toward the future. We can make peace with our past but to paraphrase Thomas Wolfe, we truly cannot go home again. Or can we?
Obviously I can't go back to the days when I was young and "spry" as my grandmother would say. By the same token, I can recall old friends and family members but I can't bring them back and even if I could, it wouldn't be the same. I've changed and I'm not the only one - it happens to all of us. If you don't believe me, get your high school yearbook out...
As the years go by, life brings joy and blessings but it also leaves us battered and bruised. There are days when we just try to survive and days when our hearts brim over with thankfulness and blessings, days when our feet want to dance, and days when we can barely drag ourselves out of bed.
I don't know about you, but someday I'll be beyond all that - no more roller coaster ride consisting of first the heights of joy and then the descent into despair - all this sandwiched in between a lot of routine slogging along the way. And the people from my past? When I'm reunited with them, it will all be perfect. Because we'll be standing at the feet of Jesus and we'll all be enamored with Him - it's going to be good!
Meanwhile, I want to serve Jesus and be a blessing to others, enjoy my family and friends and pray for my enemies and keep dancing as long as I can, albeit a little slower. But I don't want to live in the past or pin all my hopes on the "now", I want to be eagerly looking forward to the future.
In the words of Rich Mullins,
But when I leave I want to go out like Elijah
With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire
And when I look back on the stars
Well, It'll be like a candlelight in Central Park
And it won't break my heart to say goodbye.
When that time comes, I will truly be going Home, not again, but for the first time. And it's going to be awesome! Meanwhile, I still have work to do... :)