Friday, October 12, 2012

Today :)

   I love today.
   Tomorrow doesn't always look so good but today is perfect.
   My knees hurt with every step I take on days like this  when the weather is changing. But I can walk.  And I love Fall days like this when the sky is overcast, there's a slight breeze, and change is in the air.  So that's two positives and one negative and in this world, I'd say that's about as perfect as a day can get.
   But there's more.  Today was an "unscheduled" day.  On a workday, no less...  A day when I only had one brief "gotta do" item  on my list. Just one!!! The wonder of it is still with me after over a year of retirement. To have a whole weekday stretching out in front of me  to "spend" in any way I want.  It's a luxury of which I am still acutely aware and for which I am deeply thankful.  Just to be able to walk into a store during "school hours" without feeling guilty (as I did even when I was buying something for my classroom) - well, it's amazing!
   But there's more.  I can still see old friends and visit with new ones.  The other day when I was at school after hours, I just fell into natural conversation with my former colleagues (who were still there!) and roared with laughter at some of the things I heard.  (Like the new light system can only be operated with a key so when the custodian turns off the hall lights and stair well lights, you are just out of luck, in the dark.  But... you can still find your way in and out of the bathroom by using your cell phone!  I love that... so typical of schools and of the way teachers cope while making a huge joke out of it!  (Note: if you aren't resourceful and you don't have a sense of humor... do NOT go into teaching...:)
   But there's more.  I do love the Bible study I'm doing - and the women I'm privileged to do it with.  I can literally spend hours on the study and it just gives me joy. Deep down, not-goin'-anywhere-soon type of joy. I thought it was the nature of the study itself and to a large  extent, it is.  But I've done a very short study by the very same author and guess what?  Last night, out of curiosity, I got out my old workbook study, remembering how much I loved that class three or four years ago and to my shock, I saw that I had only completed about 70% of the study!  I didn't even do the last week at all!  Yet I really loved that class!  As I turned the pages, I could tell that some of my answers were well-thought out and some were just hastily scribbled in at the last minute.
    And I wondered how that could be.
    And then it came back to me - getting to school, some days by 6:30 or 7. Staying until 5 or 6.  Coming home to housework, cooking, laundry, and sometimes more paper grading. Trying to schedule time with friends who were also working.  Trying to be active in church.  Trying to be active in the community.  Trying to catch up on needed rest after a couple of sleepless nights. Just spending the coin of my days.. .trying!!!
    And now I have the luxury of giving as much time to this Bible study as I want and I find I want to give it a lot.  Because the more I give, the more I love it.  And I wake up some days thinking: what  a privilege this is - to be able to learn to my heart's content without worrying about a stack of papers at the end of the rainbow. If that makes sense...
    So yes, part of growing older is that -  unlike when you are in your twenties or thirties and neat life experiences are still mostly stretching out in front of you- tomorrow doesn't always look so good in your fifth and sixth decade of life:)  I don't mean  the going-to-Heaven part but I mean the developing a first-name relationship with your doctor, the clinic, the surgeon, the hospital, the medical equipment rental people and  so on before you get to go to Heaven.
    Yet, even with the prospect of geriatric issues coming closer with time, I am acutely aware that I have been blessed not to have traveled the medical circuit before now. Many don't even get to enjoy their twenties and thirties.
    So yes, I mean it when I say: today is a perfect day!
    And, yes, I mean it when I say:  I'm grateful:)