One cent burgers... :)

     I try not to write unless I feel like I have something worth saying. But there are exceptions to that rule and this may well be one of them.
    Just now as I was headed to Chick-Fil-A to pick up lunch for us, I suddenly had a flashback to my high school days.  As I've indicated in another blog, money was tight when I was young but we lived pretty well because of my mom's ability to manage money.
   Still, I never ate steak as far as I know - and certainly never had one in a restaurant until I was in college. I remember going out on a date and being totally confused when asked how I wanted my steak cooked - I didn't know!  So I just parroted the order that my date had given, down to the way I wanted my meat cooked and the dressing I wanted on my tossed salad!
   At home, we basically had the same things each week - chili one day, hamburgers another, Spanish Rice another and so on.  And on Spanish Rice days, since the bus dropped me off about an hour before my mom got home from work, it was my job to get that on the stove and have it ready before she got home. So another memory I have is of daydreaming about  a boy - what else back then? :) And consequently forgetting to put the meat in with the rice and the tomatoes and spices.  To this day, I have no idea how I could have forgotten the main ingredient but I did and I assure you that I  still remember the chewing out  I got when my mom got home!  (Let me say that I never made that mistake again!)
   But I've said all that to say this.  Picking up food at places like McDonald's, Burger King, and Chick-fil-a is no big deal to me now and hasn't been for years.  Since I've worked all my adult life, running through the drive-thru was just a way of life - nothing special.
  But when I was in elementary and high school, it was a huge deal.  Even when my parents were still  married, we hardly ever did it.  So much so, that I can remember telling my elementary-age friends on the bus that Burger Broil was a lot better than a new-fangled restaurant with a Scottish name called McDonald's because burgers at McDonald's cost 25 cents a piece while the ones at Burger Broil were 19 cents a piece. (And I probably rounded up those conversations by proudly announcing that our family never went to McDonald's, emphasizing the fact that we weren't frivolous!!!  Some things do come back to haunt you...)
   I can also remember kneeling on the couch in our living room so that I could lean over the back of it and watch through the picture window for dad's car on the rare occasions when we did bring home those awesome 19 cent burgers!!!
   But my main memory is of my high school days, those very tight times when it was just mom and myself living in a mobile home, her working as a social worker and me taking every baby-sitting job I could find to buy extras for myself  such as make-up, stylish clothes, my Senior pictures, etc... the Spanish Rice days :).     During those times, once a week on Thursdays, my mom would run by a restaurant called Black Angus because they ran a special on those days - buy one burger, get another one for 1 cent.  For over a year, she would  pick up two number 1's for me (mustard, pickle, and onion) and two burgers for herself (either barbecue or salad burgers) each and every  Thursday.  To this day I can still remember how those 1.01 burgers tasted and how I looked forward to that every week.  When medical bills began to pile up and they changed the special to buy one, get another one for 25 cents, we had to drop that from our weekly budget and it was no small thing to me at the time.
   I guess I'm just saying, some things really are more valued when they are harder to come by.  Maybe all things are that way.  Now, 40 years later, it's so much easier to get fast food that my main concern at this stage in  life is which one? Which place do I choose?  And often, after I've made my purchase, I feel slightly disappointed because I'm thinking of all the other types of food that I could have had, like I could have  gotten that pizza that I see highlighted in living color on some sign as I'm driving back home with a sack of burgers... Or, there's a Mexican Restaurant right across from the burger place - tacos  would have been good too!
   But really, none of the meals I buy now will ever stand out in my memory as much as those two burgers once a week from Black Angus - not only because they were good, but because they were special.  WE sort of live (or at least I do) in a fast food, throw away, pleasure seeking, have-it-your-way because you-deserve-a-break-today world and yes, life is a lot, lot easier now  than it ever was when I was young - when it comes to cooking/serving meals at least...  But I'm not sure it's better.
   Maybe, after everything is said and done,  it's not a bad thing that our grandparents (or great-grandparents or whatever) had to walk uphill both ways for miles  to get to school :)





 

Always a good thing to do...:)

     I worked on my murder mystery yesterday - I'm at the place really where I don't like anything I've written so far  and wouldn't mind killing off all my main characters myself....  After writing some, I went to my home away from home, Lifeway Bookstore, and was just sitting there, looking at a Bible that emphasizes the names of God - I have a real weakness for beautifully bound devotional/study Bibles and I had a 10.00 off coupon - a dangerous combination!
     And while I was sitting there, looking through the Bible, a nicely dressed older gentleman commented on how I was reading a good book.  Then he told me about how someone once had said the same thing to him on a plane  - my new friend had been reading the Bible during the flight and the person seated next to him commented on how he was reading a good book. Then, as they deplaned, one right in front of the other, my new friend turned around to say good-bye to his seatmate and saw the guy had literally vanished. So he felt then and still feels now that his seatmate was an angel.
    So later, after our conversation ended - and he was a neat person to talk to, totally sane as far as I could tell - at any rate, after we finished talking, I'm sitting there still leafing through The Names of God Bible edited by Ann Spangler, thinking how my mystery novel inhales swiftly and wondering why I've never had an encounter with an angel....   Or do angels even hang out with people who spend part of their days plotting how to create someone, then kill them off along with, um, maybe a few others, and so on?
   I don't know.  All I know is that I bought the Bible for my birthday (Phil says I make birthdays soooo easy for him :), fixed spaghetti for supper,  and shelved my novel temporarily because, as Scarlet O'Hara said in such a memorable way, tomorrow is another day (or something like that)
   And really, there are few theological quandaries that can hang around in the face of a pound of un-browned hamburger, a jar of Ragu that needs to be opened, some pasta that is begging to be boiled, a load of laundry that is giving me a guilt trip since yesterday when it should have been done and a kitchen that will need cleaning up later on in the evening.
   And then, finally, when everyone is fed, the house is quiet and the laundry is mollified, a new study Bible to read :) .. which is, whether angels are visibly watching or not, always a good thing to do!

Trying it again...

     The truth is that I just love these pictures and wanted to put them in a blog....

     Last week on Friday I tried to include one of them in a blog about perspectives.  Which was fine then but this is now... Meaning, as I've already indicated, on Friday I was full of gratitude and looking on the bright side.  But perspective comes and goes with me on a daily basis, sometimes an hourly basis.

    HOnestly, that's kind of how it is with me.

   It's discouraging. 

   Then someone pointed out to me that "mature Christian" doesn't mean that you go steadily through each day with no great highs or lows emotionally.  Somehow, I really thought that if I kept reading my Bible, praying, going to church, etc.   that someday my life would be one seamless tapestry along the lines of Melanie in Gone with the Wind.   

   But this person pointed out that calmly floating through life without expressing strong emotions is really.. um... Stoicism - which was a popular philosophy in pagan Rome.  Which isn't exactly Christian...

   So I get that - it's okay to be sad, joyful, even angry on occasion.

   And that cheered me up because those things I definitely can do!

   But there's a catch...  A mature Christian doesn't get torqued because someone got their parking place at the mall.  (Even, as one of my friends said, if you have your blinker on and that person knows good and well that  it's your spot!!!!"  Even then, it's not Biblically  correct to call the interloper ugly names or speculate about their family heritage.  Bummer....)

   This is the deal - true love causes two hearts to beat as one. When we truly love God, our hearts should pitter-pat in sync with His. Which means that His joy is our joy and His grief is ours as well.  In other words, His perspective becomes mine.  

  

    And honestly, that's going to take a while...

    In the meantime, I love this from the Discover God Bible:

    "Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens   He never changes or casts a shifting shadow."  James 1:17 (Italics mine.)

      Which means "Because God never changes my future is secure and eternal."  p. 2226

      Which means that His perspective never changes and His joys and sorrows are always right on target.  And I think these pictures kind of give that impression.

Getting Real....

    I doubt seriously that there are any days when I am in the running for Super Saint but today I wasn't even close to the starting line...  Yesterday I was grateful that I was alive and looking for the positive in everything.  This morning I read what I had written late last night and decided I wasn't even sure who that person was who wrote it, but whoever they were, they were an idiot. ...
   When I was a kid, my  grandmother used to stare at the wall and announce, "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today"   and then if I didn't "get it", she would look pointedly at me to reinforce her message.  I don't know if there even is a wrong side of the bed or not but if there is and if I can remember which side I woke up on this morning, then I can tell you which side to avoid in the a.m. - I can solve that mystery!
    I'd like to be a "good" Christian every day and I'd love to say that the Pollyanna story  I adored as a child (movie, doll and book..) helped shape the woman that I've become. But honestly, some days just inhale vigorously.
   When I was still newly married, I went as an adult sponsor to a church camp in NW Arkansas. As a kid, I had absolutely loved that camp!  As an adult, I absolutely hated it! Tepid to cold water in the showers, which was okay because you couldn't linger anyway unless you liked sharing the cubicle with spiders, which I didn't.  Extraordinarily hot humid days.  Open air lectures at night where mosquitoes reigned supreme.  Kids falling out of bunk beds in the middle of the night. One pay phone (no cell phones) where I stood in line each night with a bunch of twelve-year-olds so that I could call my husband and cry about my homesickness. (The kids in line were stoic or happy. I was the one blubbering, not kidding...)  Teen-agers acting snotty because I wasn't as much fun as their usual camp counselor (I was a last minute pinch-hitter). And on top of that, I had been asked to teach Baptist church history to a bunch of 4th grade boys.  In an open air pavilion.  While my papers flew in every direction and they concentrated on catching whatever wildlife happened to be crawling by.   Try it sometime.  I dare you.
  The last morning I was there, I was trying unsuccessfully to rectify my sleep-deprived state by sleeping in  when I overheard another camp counselor send a kid off to buy me a tee-shirt that said, "I survived camp so and so."  It was a sweet thought but I never got it.  After 4 literally sleepless nights and 5 stressful days, I went on a crying jag that Friday which  lasted through morning devotions, the talent show, and our boxed to-go lunches. (Think Eleanor in the last scene of Sense and Sensibility... Ha!)   To this day, I hope the kids didn't equate my sobbing  with the quality of their performances... Needless to say, the other counselor didn't mention the tee-shirt gift and I didn't either.  I hope someone got it who wore it proudly. As far as I'm concerned, if it didn't have a larger-than-life icon of a  spider on it being carried off by a gargantuan mosquito, it wasn't authentic anyway....
  I also remember how the other counselor in our "dorm" comforted me by saying the same thing she said to the kids.. :(  As she put her arm around me, she said, "Some days are basically just  rotten but the good thing is that once they are done, they are done.  They won't come again and tomorrow is a whole 'nother day."
  It may not be good theology - I'm no expert. But it rang true to me at the time and I've never forgotten it.
  As a famous preacher once rang out, "It's Friday... but Sunday's comin'."  You'd have to hear the whole sermon to know what he meant but basically, he was saying, one dark day, the Son of God hung on a cross -it was Friday.   But Sunday - the day the tomb was found empty with the head wrappings laid aside to show the owner would be coming back - that resurrection Sunday was on it's way, even when the world experienced the worst darkness it had even known -   Sunday was a'comin'.

   Today  wasn't the worst day for me by any means. But still  I have to say, I'm glad that tomorrow is Sunday and also that  this day doesn't have to be repeated.  Some days just inhale swiftly.
                                 



(Today, I would have to say this doll was a better person than I, Gunga Din.. .Or something like that).

New needs - new agendas...

     This morning I did water aerobics for the third time; this time without my friend. Since I didn't have anyone coming by to pick me up, it was sooooo tempting not to go.  When I only had 15 minutes to get ready, I finally made up my mind, grabbed my swim bag and headed out.  It was great once I got there- and afterwards I felt  invigorated, ready to face the day.
   Times have soooo changed!!!   I used to face a room full of teenagers in the morning.  This morning, since we were inside the fitness center where the water was not a balmy 70 degrees with wind blowing around us (as it was last week!!!), we had a large class.  The instructor is really personable and knows what she's doing and as she encouraged us to get to know a little about each other, we learned that the youngest member of the class is 34 and the oldest is ...90.  Yep!  Entering her ninth decade and just as happy as she can be...(And it wasn't me, in case you are wondering...=/)
    At any rate, most of the members looked my age or older.  Some a lot older. And as I looked into their faces, at first I thought: is this what I'm going to be like in a few years????  Like, am I going to be wrinkled, frail, white-haired (well, I'm almost there on that one right now.. but still, mine's not permed yet...) -at any rate, am I staring into my future?
   And then as I watched the older ladies, I thought, "I can only hope so!!!"
   What I mean by that is that none of these ladies looked anything but happy. Some of them couldn't move much in the water but they were hanging in there and looking pleased to be able to do what they could. As I looked at their faces, I'm thinking - okay, they've seen a lot of life. Some have probably buried their husbands.  A few may have outlived a child.  Undoubtedly, they've seen both the good and bad side of life.  But their faces reflect the good side of life, not the bad. I can only hope that when I am their age, my face will do the same.
  I also noticed that the ladies were friendly, genuinely interested in each other as well as  in  the newcomers, like me...  There was no territorial stuff going on, no cliquish inclusion/exclusion - well, I do admit - I mean how cliquish can you get in a pool doing jumping jacks,  skiing, the twist,  and washing machines for an hour???? But still...
  Which leads me to another thing - Face Book.  I really love it but...
   It's addicting....
   It's mostly surface stuff...
   And as I heard someone else say, it's pretty much a place to put inside jokes that only a few can get.
  But even more than that, I realized that's it's a place where you can easily get the illusion of having a lot of interactions with people when... you really don't.  For working women, it's great.  You can post something, look at what your friends have posted and in just a few seconds, you are up to speed on what's going on with Susie's son or Joanie's new business...
  For a retired person, it may not be so great.  One of the things I've already noticed in my short time as a retired person is that I'm more satisfied in some ways.  I don't want to shop as much and I enjoy being at home.   But at the same time, since I don't have to be anywhere, I have to make myself get out and do things. This will undoubtedly become harder as the days get shorter and colder.  It would be really easy for me to sit and peruse FB off and on  all day  - as I have been known to do in the summer - and avoid meeting new people, doing new things, getting out there and interacting on more than just a surface level.
  And I just can't stay in that pattern.  Humor comes across great on FB but what if you need real feedback? Most of what I see on FB are positive cliches, one-liners, etc. And that's great for what it does.  But it's not real life.  What if I need someone to tell me I'm doing something wrong?  Are they even going to in-box me that information?  Probably better to say it face to face if they really care about me.  And if I am  doing something I shouldn't - like unwittingly being neglectful of someone or being irritable without knowing it - how will anyone pick up on it if they don't see me day to day? I can be in a totally foul mood and never give a hint of it on FB, I promise!   Or if everyone else's kid is being tagged on FB as the cutest, the funniest, the smartest, the most polite, am I likely to post on FB that my kid and I are having a day when seriously, neither one of is the cutest, the funniest, the smartest or the most polite..?? Like, we're having a day when all of our awards would seriously go in the opposite direction???
   So I'm just saying that being at the Fitness Center is good for me. I need to be around people and from what I've seen of the ladies in my class, I can learn a lot by following the example of some of the older ladies whose faces reflect joy and contentment, not bitterness and misery.  And I guess I'm also saying that I have my task in front of me - to make myself get out and do things, interact with others in real life - and limit my time on FB. Because this is where I am now - a new stage of life with new needs and agendas, if that makes sense.

Ten on the Tenth

Although 9/11 is on my mind right now, I want to write about something else for Ten on the Tenth.  Tomorrow I will get the privilege of sitting in with three neat teen-age girls after church for homemade pizza and some after-church discussion.  I have been thinking about what I would like for them (and every teen-age girl) to know - really know, deep down inside.  And this is what came to mind.

1.  I would like for them to know that self-image really, really does count.  Of all my friends in college, the one who was really the most beautiful and the sharpest, didn't finish college.  No matter what we said or did, she was honestly convinced that she was ugly and slow-witted. She had grown up hearing this and she didn't doubt it.  When she would comment on how ugly she was, she wasn't fishing for compliments; she was just calling it the way she saw it.  Sadly, she married the first guy who asked her and pretty much told us that she thought he would make a good husband even though he didn't love her.  We were stunned - we knew she could have had anyone she wanted.  But she didn't know that.  Self-image counts.

2.  Having said that, I would like for each girl to know that she is made  "in an amazing and wonderful way."  Not my words.  Psalms 139:14.  The Psalmist went on to write "You saw my bones being formed as I took shape in my mother's body.  When I was put together there, you saw my body as it was formed.  All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old."  Society today saturates young girls with unrealistic images of what they should be.  God is pleased with His work and that includes every one of His girls. I think knowing this would take a lot of pressure off.

3. I also think that every girl wants to be cherished.  Zephaniah 3:17 is about Israel but I think it is also true of how God looks at His children.  ".. .He will rejoice over you.  You will rest in his love; He will sing and be joyful about you."  When things are going wrong, someone snubs you at school, or even worse, gossips about you openly. When you don't have a boyfriend and everyone else does, the God of the universe knows your name, has His eye on you and is rejoicing over you.  Problems at school and in your love-life come and go. His love remains constant. Every-single-day, you-are-loved!!!!

4. I also think that when someone hurts you, God gets ticked.    Psalm 17:8 says, "Guard me as the apple of your eye." I once heard Beth Moore say that when someone hurts one of His children, that's like poking God right in His eyeball.  Do you think He could ignore that??  If you get hurt, even if it's because you used poor judgement and made a bad choice, He doesn't take your pain lightly and He won't forget. The Bible says that He stores our tears in a bottle and I'm thinking that you don't keep something unless A) it's precious to you and B) you plan to do something about  it later on. God has stored every one of your tears and sooner or later, He will do something about it.

5.  Which leads me to the next point I want to make. You are not the sum total of your choices.   Someone not too long ago reminded me of the analogy of the dollar bill.  The story goes like this:  if you take a dollar bill and crumple it, stomp on it, rub it in the dirt, etc., it's intrinsic value remains the same.  It's still worth a dollar.  Your intrinsic value comes from God who made you. Wrong choices don't change your worth. They may make life harder but they don't change who you are deep inside.  If you make a bad decision, you are still the same person you were before you messed up.  Pick yourself up, remind yourself of who you are (and Whose you are) and go right  back to where you were before you fell. Don't stay down. Reclaim the  higher ground.

6.  Which leads to the next point, which is that we have an enemy who is described by John as the Father of all lies. Not a cool title to have, I wouldn't think.   Too many times, when you make a wrong choice - whether it's large or small in nature - the enemy is right there, ready to  whisper lies such as - "You are stupid. You'll always be stupid.   Now everyone knows you are stupid (bad, ugly, tactless, etc.   - the enemy has a ton of adjectives!!! He could pass Senior English, no problem...)  Now the good kids won't want to hang out with you.  And if your parents find out, you are toast...  So whatever you do, don't tell them!"  But the thing is, I don't like to be lied to. And I'm sure you don't either. In John 8, Jesus promised that if we would study His word, we would know the truth.  The Bible is like a radar that picks up on lies. Like a lint filter picks up on lint.   Try it and see. It's important that you know the truth and that you don't fall for lies.

7.  Which leads to the next point.  The Bible says that we all experience the same temptations - nothing that comes your way is new.  If everyone is tempted in various ways to mess up, then you are not the first or the last to fall for some lie. But the Bible also says says that He will make a way of escape in order to help you out of the tempting spot you are in if you will turn to Him for help.  Bottom line: if you think you are the only one who has messed up  - again whether it is large or small - think again.  Most people don't write their mess-ups in neon letters on billboards. Or on Facebook for that matter.  And if you ask God to help you each day before the  temptation comes to gossip, compare yourself unfavorably to other girls, worry, cheat on homework or whatever, He will help you dominate from the git-go!

8.  Which leads me to the last point.  What do you want out of life?  These are a few of the  things God offers.  First, He offers joy.  Not any joy.  But the joy that wells up within Himself - His own  joy!!!  John 15:11 says that He  wants to see His own  joy come to completion in you. Do you want to laugh, sing, dance for joy? Whether you realize it or not, God wants the same for you!!

9.  What do you want out of life?  A boring, settled-for life or life in all it's fullness?  When I was a teen, we used to hear about how sometimes people would refuse to surrender their lives to God because He might make you go to Africa as a missionary or something.  First, He'll ask you to follow His plan for your life, whatever that might be - but I don't think He makes you follow His plan...  Second, let's say you consider Africa the worst thing He could ask you to do and ... darn it.. that's what He lays on your heart.  Hmmmmm.... some of the most exciting stories I've ever read are about people who follow Christ to exotic lands and find themselves doing what they've always wanted to do... even if they didn't know it when He first called them!!  So look at older people who were once  afraid to surrender to Him - and didn't.  Then look at people who weren't - and did.  Talk to them. Ask them if they had a chance for do-overs, would they take it. You might be surprised by their answers. Whatever you do, read John 10:10.

10.  Soo...what do you want out of life? ?? God offers a lot.  We'll look at one more: light for the next step -  which college, which job, whether to break-up or not to break-up, whether to date or not date, whether to marry... you get the picture.  Basically, in James 1, God promises to give you wisdom. And it even says He'll give generously and without reproach if you just ask in faith.  So if you know Jesus, ask Him to give you wisdom. And keep asking and  waiting and asking...  until He gives you the answer.  AFter all, He's the only one who can see into the future. So His advice counts!!!

There are so many other things He offers but ....I've run out of numbers... My Ten on the Tenth is done. If you wonder what else He promises, read the Bible, get out your promise book, take Him at His word.

Milestones...

     Twenty-one years ago today, our son was born.   We thought we knew a lot about parenting. We quickly learned that we knew nothing. He had food allergies and at times we couldn't decide if we should submit his picture to the Gerber baby contest or as a poster child for colic.  At one point, as a precaution, he was on a heart monitor. When the technician brought it out and showed us how to use it, he lamented the fact that one couple had poured coke into one of their expensive  machines and ruined it.  AFter several false alarms in the middle of the night, I understood why...
     Honestly, I don't even remember Fall that year.  I remember having David on Sept. 8th, after eating (yes, I will admit it) a tuna sandwich and a chocolate bar for breakfast.  (For expectant mothers about to deliver, in case you are wondering - this isn't a good idea.)  The next thing I remember is calling a friend about 5 days later and crying hysterically.  Thankfully, she and her mother-in-law came over with food and words of advice.  Basically, I thought I had experienced stress and sleep deprivation in college... but as a new mom,  I quickly realized that in these things,  I was but  a piker...
    I also remember going to a pediatrician (after another sleepless night) and blurting out, "Some people have more than one of these on purpose... and I don't know why!!!"  (I never felt like I was a favorite with the doctor after that initial visit.  Could have been my imagination but...)
   Basically, Sept. to Dec. of that year was a blur.  And in fact, my only memory of Christmas that year was standing by the tree and  ringing a little bell on it because it was enough to momentarily distract him from crying. Needless to say, I rang that bell a lot, with David nestled in the crook of my arm or draped over my shoulder.
  When we reached the sixth month anniversary of his birth - we hit a milestone. He slept all night and I don't know if the angels rejoiced over that but we sure did!!!
   Yet in all those sleepless, anxious, debt-ridden days, I don't think that we ever doubted David was God's gift to us.  (Sometimes we wondered if He had made a mistake and delivered the gift to the wrong house since we were so clueless as parents...)  No matter how many times we looked at each other at 11 p.m. and tried to stare the other one down  as to who would get up this time  and tiptoe into the nursery to stealthily wind up the Winnie-the-Pooh mobile - an art in and of itself - we would still find ourselves stopping to  marvel at his soft cheeks, his tiny feet, his sweet  smile. Even after the first hectic weeks had retreated into memory and he was a toddler, we'd still sneak into his room at night to watch him sleep - he always looked so angelic!
   And then there were the days when he would want to go jogging around the block with me and we'd have discussions about, "You can't keep up with mommy!  Stay here with Daddy and then I'll take you for a walk later on!"  But inevitably, I'd take him and then.. I'd end up carrying him most of the way.
   Times have changed. Just yesterday, I wanted to carry some books to my sister-in-law's house.  They were pretty heavy so I asked David if he would walk with me and carry them.  He did and half-way through the journey, it dawned on me that he was striding along effortlessly while I was struggling to keep up with him!
   A lot has changed since Sept. 8, 1990!  I know David has grown up and is now a young man. But truthfully, as I look back over those first months and years, I think Phil would agree that we did more "growing up" than David  did!  For the first time, we had someone whose needs absolutely had to come before our own and that was good for us.
   Bottom line: I think he taught us a lot more than we ever taught him!
   Sept. is a great month and 21 years ago, we got a great gift in our son, David.