Times have soooo changed!!! I used to face a room full of teenagers in the morning. This morning, since we were inside the fitness center where the water was not a balmy 70 degrees with wind blowing around us (as it was last week!!!), we had a large class. The instructor is really personable and knows what she's doing and as she encouraged us to get to know a little about each other, we learned that the youngest member of the class is 34 and the oldest is ...90. Yep! Entering her ninth decade and just as happy as she can be...(And it wasn't me, in case you are wondering...=/)
At any rate, most of the members looked my age or older. Some a lot older. And as I looked into their faces, at first I thought: is this what I'm going to be like in a few years???? Like, am I going to be wrinkled, frail, white-haired (well, I'm almost there on that one right now.. but still, mine's not permed yet...) -at any rate, am I staring into my future?
And then as I watched the older ladies, I thought, "I can only hope so!!!"
What I mean by that is that none of these ladies looked anything but happy. Some of them couldn't move much in the water but they were hanging in there and looking pleased to be able to do what they could. As I looked at their faces, I'm thinking - okay, they've seen a lot of life. Some have probably buried their husbands. A few may have outlived a child. Undoubtedly, they've seen both the good and bad side of life. But their faces reflect the good side of life, not the bad. I can only hope that when I am their age, my face will do the same.
I also noticed that the ladies were friendly, genuinely interested in each other as well as in the newcomers, like me... There was no territorial stuff going on, no cliquish inclusion/exclusion - well, I do admit - I mean how cliquish can you get in a pool doing jumping jacks, skiing, the twist, and washing machines for an hour???? But still...Which leads me to another thing - Face Book. I really love it but...
It's addicting....
It's mostly surface stuff...
And as I heard someone else say, it's pretty much a place to put inside jokes that only a few can get.
But even more than that, I realized that's it's a place where you can easily get the illusion of having a lot of interactions with people when... you really don't. For working women, it's great. You can post something, look at what your friends have posted and in just a few seconds, you are up to speed on what's going on with Susie's son or Joanie's new business...
For a retired person, it may not be so great. One of the things I've already noticed in my short time as a retired person is that I'm more satisfied in some ways. I don't want to shop as much and I enjoy being at home. But at the same time, since I don't have to be anywhere, I have to make myself get out and do things. This will undoubtedly become harder as the days get shorter and colder. It would be really easy for me to sit and peruse FB off and on all day - as I have been known to do in the summer - and avoid meeting new people, doing new things, getting out there and interacting on more than just a surface level.
And I just can't stay in that pattern. Humor comes across great on FB but what if you need real feedback? Most of what I see on FB are positive cliches, one-liners, etc. And that's great for what it does. But it's not real life. What if I need someone to tell me I'm doing something wrong? Are they even going to in-box me that information? Probably better to say it face to face if they really care about me. And if I am doing something I shouldn't - like unwittingly being neglectful of someone or being irritable without knowing it - how will anyone pick up on it if they don't see me day to day? I can be in a totally foul mood and never give a hint of it on FB, I promise! Or if everyone else's kid is being tagged on FB as the cutest, the funniest, the smartest, the most polite, am I likely to post on FB that my kid and I are having a day when seriously, neither one of is the cutest, the funniest, the smartest or the most polite..?? Like, we're having a day when all of our awards would seriously go in the opposite direction???
So I'm just saying that being at the Fitness Center is good for me. I need to be around people and from what I've seen of the ladies in my class, I can learn a lot by following the example of some of the older ladies whose faces reflect joy and contentment, not bitterness and misery. And I guess I'm also saying that I have my task in front of me - to make myself get out and do things, interact with others in real life - and limit my time on FB. Because this is where I am now - a new stage of life with new needs and agendas, if that makes sense.
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