Faith doesn't come easily for me; I was raised to be cautious. Being cautious is good. To this day, I check to make sure my hamburger meat isn't raw before I eat it and I watch both ways before crossing a street... So far I've only had food poisoning once and I've never been hit by a car...
Transition...
Back in October, I went to my Wed. night Beth Moore study, tired as usual from a long day at work. I was running late - as usual. On the way to church, I saw a spectacular sunset - breathtaking. For one thing, at that time we had gone for almost two months without rain so even seeing a cloud formation was impressive. But this one had a figure 8 opening with a wide silver edge to it. Streaming out of the figure 8 hole in the dark clouds was a soft diffusion of rose-and-gold-tinted light that was perfect - no artist could ever capture it on canvas. I kept my eye on it for as long as I could but it wasn't long enough. All too soon, it was gone.
Then, being late, it was time to do my geriatric sprint across the church parking lot, huff and puff my way upstairs to the study room, hurriedly find an empty seat, sit down with profuse apologies for bothering everyone around me -which probably only bothered them more - and quickly find the text. Revelation... not my favorite.
I looked up to see Beth Moore bouncing all over the video screen, totally pumped about the various things she was teaching while I was still trying to find my way out of the maps... Finally got the right place - chapter 4 - and tried to focus (Focus, Hammie, focus!!). "After this I looked, and behold, a door standing open in Heaven!"
I tried to listen - honestly! But my neurons just weren't all firing in one direction or something. So instead of getting all the salient points of the lesson, my internal synapses or whatever they are started playing some sort of mental ping-pong while I just sat there - thankful that no one else in the room could read my thoughts ..which, unfortunately, went something like this...
I've never understood Revelation on a good day...and this definitely does NOT qualify as a good day...
Sorry, Lord, I know my attitude is not right....
Oh my gosh! This passage is so whacked out...
Sorry, Lord, I know it's me... I know...
Wow. This is almost like... science fiction...or something...
Sorry, Lord, I know, I know, I know.. this is not fiction.. it's just so... weird....
This internal dialogue went on for about 30 minutes, until finally I just gave it up, put my brain in park - its default position - and let my eyes roam around the room. The video room has two narrow rectangular windows on each side of it and through one I happened to see just a bit of a cloud. Really kind of a sorry cloud.. Except that it was enough to remind me of another cloud, a dark one with this heavenly rose-colored light streaming through this sort of portal-like opening...
I looked down at the text: ...a door standing open into Heaven...
Although I knew I had not personally seen into Heaven, suddenly John's words didn't seem nearly so hard to take. I looked at Beth. I looked at my Bible. Thought about the cloud/light display earlier... Tiredness and skepticism vanished as my scattered wits somehow managed to -sort of - not exactly bungee jump along with Beth but still kind of stay on the same page with her. Neat, what a cloud can do...
The next two school days were long, tough, tiring. So on Friday, I went to the book store hoping against hope that a new mystery I had been waiting for was already on the book shelves. It wasn't! Bummer! I really wanted something exciting that would hold my attention - cheap vacation in a paperback - something like that...
I continued to browse half-heartedly until my attention was caught by a yellow book with a young kid on it. Yellow is my favorite color and the book was prominently displayed. I read the title, "Heaven is for Real", saw that it was about a near-death experience that a young child had and that was all it took: innate caution raised it's head.... Flashback to my childhood messages: You don't know that what that kid told you is the truth!! He could have made that story up out of whole cloth!! Only this time I was hearing, "You don't know who this author is! He could be making this story up out of whole cloth!!!" (And what is "whole cloth" anyway????) At any rate, I kept browsing.
But I also kept coming back to the yellow book with the cute kid on the front. I noticed that it was highly recommended by an author I trust - an author I had actually met in fact. And as I opened the book, it seemed pretty readable.
And it was on sale.
And I hadn't found anything else...
Sooooo I bought it, whining to myself even as I was leaving the store, "But I wanted something really riveting to read!!!"
Well.. I got it. I started reading about 8 .. .finished the book at midnight... In between times, I would talk to my husband - until he fell asleep - and then to my son... Listen to what I just read... Do you think this guy is on the up-and-up...?? This is amazing... Do you think the dad could be making this up? I mean, would a father - a pastor - involve his young son in a fraudulent description of Heaven like this..? He sounds like he's really crazy about his kids... like he's a good dad so I don't think a loving father would make up a 150 page whopper and put his son on the front cover .. I don't know... what do you think? . And listen to this... I mean, this is so cool! And it all fits with Scripture...
And then, halfway through the book, there it was - a quote from the apostle John: Rev. 4 to be exact... "After this I looked, and behold, a door standing open in Heaven!"
Okay, Lord... I get it!
Caution is good - I recommend it, especially when someone gives you an undercooked hamburger patty... But analysis can only go so far. Some things have to be taken on faith and John's door into Heaven is one of those things.
As for the book, Heaven is for Real, all I can say is: read it and form your own opinion.
No comments:
Post a Comment