Next...

     Following on yesterday's blog, I'd like to say a little about the second vital ingredient to spiritual growth: prayer.
     Talking to God.  Respectfully.  Yet honestly. And listening. Obediently.
      There is something that bothers me about church.  (And,yes, I love going to church,  but still...)  It  is when people wear their church faces - you know, all squeaky clean spiritually speaking - when they wear that sanctified look Sunday after Sunday after Sunday after Sunday...   If Nehemiah could look sad in the presence of the king, I think we can too.  I mean, joyful is good!  But not when it's a facade, a lie, a cover-up.  
      God is light and in Him is no darkness.  Deceit of any kind is darkness.
      But even more than that, the King of all Kings invites us to come to Him, not when we have it altogether, but when we are heavy burdened, worn out, perplexed (but not despairing...struck down but not destroyed ala II Cor. 4:7-8.  Sorry.. I couldn't help but burst into a little Scripture there...).

      This same (and only) God  listened to Elijah who, worn out from great spiritual victory, collapsed emotionally and spiritually and wailed (sort of), "This is it! I am done for! And I'm the only one left!!  And that Wicked Queen is going to killlll  meeeeee!!!!!!"  (My paraphrase.. ha!)

      According to my Bible, God didn't  turn a deaf ear or say, "Elijah!!  Get up off your duff!!!  Repent!!!  And sing, "I love the wonderful feeling that I feel when I get together with God's wonderful people..."  ten times!!!!   Boy! PUT that sanctified smile back on yore face!!!"   Instead He told Elijah to rest beside a brook and He sent ravens to feed this worn-out, gut-honest man of God.

     So prayer begins with reverence - remembering who God is and giving Him the praise He deserves. But it goes on to what is in the heart - your heart.  And ends with what (and whom)  is in/on His heart.

    And Scripture is key to all of that.
   The Word of God is powerful, able to divide soul and spirit and also able to reveal the thoughts and attitudes of our heart.  Hebrews 4:12.
    How many times have I started to pray what I ought to be praying ( a nice prayer)  when suddenly the Spirit would arrest my words in mid sentence and gently say, "Cathy, here is the real issue, the real need, etc."  And then, lo and behold, there would be my heart - laid open for me to see -  and there would be the issue I had been studiously avoiding, the real source of my anxiety, my tears, my fears, etc.
    For me, prayers of healing begin with God's word flowing through my heart and mind.

    Also, we have this promise in I John 5:14 - 15, that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us and if He hears us, then we can know that our request will be answered.
    But how can we know His will if we don't know His word?  If it isn't flowing through us?
    I thought of this scenario:  what if your child came to you and said, "I really want a pet rat.  J.B. has one and it's so cute! And smart too!  And you can train it and feed it and I would take good care of it!"  
    Some parents would be okay with that.  As it happens, this parent wouldn't be because rats aren't high on my list of things to train, nourish, and love.    I know other things about rats that would trump any argument any child of mine could dredge up...
    My point is that if this hypothetical child knew the parent's will in this situation, they could marshal their arguments to better purpose, asking for a pet that coincides with the parent's list of pets-that-are-okay-to-keep.
   Okay.  Sometimes we come to God asking for things that are covered in glitz, like Cinderella's Coachman, who was really a glorified rat....   This is the deal:  God knows if  the thing (or person) we want is really a rat in disguise.  He sees the things we cannot.
   If you can delight yourself in the Lord and  soak in His word, then  I doubt you'll be insisting on getting the livery-coated rat of your temporary heart's desire.  (Psalms 34:7)    If that makes sense.
 
    And then there is this: ultimately prayer is not about what is on your heart but it's about what is on His heart. And what is on His heart is revealed in His word.  And when we get that, the ultimate prayer - "Lord, please put on my heart what is on your heart; cause what brings joy to Your heart to bring joy to my heart and let what breaks Your heart break mine too!" - the ultimate prayer  is inextricably tied to... yes... to  His Word.
 

 

   
   

Soapbox... :)

Growing...
I remember those days when my feet dangled above the floor whenever I sat on a church pew. At that time, I was sure that this would be my situation for the rest of my life - everyone else would have long legs and mine would always be short.

Although this did not turn out to be the case, at every stage of my development I still feared that my friends would keep on growing while I... somehow... would not...

I wonder why we don't fear the specter of "not growing" when it comes to our Christian development?

Most of us know that there are four key elements in spiritual growth:
One is to be in the Word: to do daily devotional reading.

Devotional comes from the word "devote". Synonyms for "devote" include: dedicate, entrust, pledge, give away....

The idea is that we dedicate ourselves to Someone, to our Heavenly Father, to our Abba. That we give away our heart to our ultimate Love. But on a lengthy reading plan I can find myself devoting myself to a schedule, a task, an assignment,a check list, if you will. And not to the God of the Universe who loves me and, inexplicably, wants to fellowship with me. (I John 1:3)

And then, when I'm done with my check list, I promptly forget what I read and begin to pursue my favorite mental activity which is fretting. I could win an Olympic medal for fretting... seriously. Maybe you don't know how to fret but I do...

And, yet, fretting is a skill... sort of. And what can be used for the negative can be turned into something positive.

So here is a suggestion for devotional reading for 2015. Take the portion you are going to read tomorrow and start reading it tonight before you go to bed. (Or, if you are like me, after you go to bed but before you are ready to sleep.).

When you get to a verse or phrase that speaks to your heart,say it over and over. Or write it on a card and prop it up by your reading lamp where you can see it. Meditate on it as you fall asleep*. (Meditating on Scripture is synonymous with the phrase "good fretting"... Truly! You can keep on fretting -i.e., wearing a groove in your mind...! Only now you are creating mental pathways that are positive and productive instead of debilitating because you are sowing God's truth into your mind before and during sleep).

Then the next morning finish your devotional reading, looking for any other verses or phrases that go along with the phrase you meditated on the night before. You will be surprised at how many times God will bring the same concept to mind, reinforcing that truth on your heart.

As you meditate on that phrase or verse, consider memorizing a whole verse once a week. Or two! Write the verse(s) down. Sing them. Pray them. Whatever... (As someone has said, if you can remember your name, your address, and your birthday, you can remember one verse a week).

AS you read, memorize, and meditate, you will find yourself going automatically into the second key to spiritual growth which is praying. You will find yourself automatically praying the Scripture back to Him as you meditate on it.

But that's the second step - for another day, another blog entry. Got to go soak my head, literally... ! Love sinus stuff in winter time!!!

*I got this idea from a book called, appropriately enough, "Meditation" by Jim Downing.

Which Is Easier?

Reading this morning in Matthew 9.
A paralyzed man was brought to Jesus and Jesus spoke comfortingly to the man, telling him that his sins were forgiven.
This ticked the pharisees off b/c they knew only God could forgive sins. So they understood Jesus was saying He is God.

But that was only half the problem in their eyes. I mean, if Jesus is God, then why doesn't He heal the man, hmmmmm?

Jesus called them on their snide thoughts.
And then He healed the paralyzed man.

We all know the story, right?
But I didn't notice until today that when Jesus busts out their hidden arrogance - He asks them a question: Why do you think evil in your hearts? For which is easier to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Rise and walk'.

Obviously they thought it was easier to say, 'Your sins are forgiven' than to actually speak decayed and useless limbs into life and movement. Maybe deep inside we think the same.

And it would be easier if, when Jesus spoke those words about removing sin, nothing happened supernaturally. If the man's sins were still weighing on his conscience, if he was still carrying the normal human load of "coulda, shoulda, woulda...", if Jesus' words were just words and nothing else, the pharisees would have been right.

But for those sins to actually be shifted off this man's conscience and onto the Savior, to be totally removed as far as the east is from the west never to be brought up again - that apparently requires more power than to make neurons and spinal fluid and nerves and blood suddenly come together in harmony to orchestrate life where there was no physical movement or response before. Which means that sin is more devastating than a broken spinal cord, not too put it too bluntly.

Sin isn't: "I didn't do my best today."
Sin is: "I didn't measure up to Holy God's standard today."

Jesus' answer to that is, "I know you didn't. You can't. And so I came down from Heaven and did it for you."

All the religions in the world can pretty much be broken up into two camps:
Man's efforts to reach up to God.
Or
God reaching down to man.

The first is called "works" - i.e., working hard to establish and maintain a relationship with God.
The second is called "grace" - i.e., trusting in what God has done for you and living a life of faith and gratitude because of it.

This week I sat with an extremely moral, loving, hardworking person - someone I highly respect - and listened to that person brokenly sob off and on for a couple of hours. Why? Because the sins of parents some three decades ago are still with my friend.

When my friend does their best and life happens and things still fall apart b/c of circumstances beyond human control - at those times my friend still sees the anger in a parent's eyes, still remembers the blows, still hears the messages: you could have done better, you should have known better, you could have worked harder, you can be perfect, people in our family always succeed, if you do your best, things will work out, God helps those who help themselves, yada yada yada...

And I realized that sin has long tentacles made out of tough fibers called lies, half-truths, and deceptions- tentacles that can stretch out over decades and do harm for a lifetime. ANd beyond.

And today I understand that,yes, sin is harder to get rid of than physical paralysis. And I thank God that He can do both.

The Right Diagnosis....

I've been thinking... and that can be dangerous... 
Most know that 19 years ago my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in stage four and given 3 months to live. (She went on Hospice and lived 6 months).

A few months after she died, I found myself chatting with a woman who, it turned out, was rejoicing that her doctors had found her cancer - also pancreatic - five years earlier by accident. It was stage one at that time and she had just received her 5 year cancer free report.

It sounds like a simple story at this point - one lady lucked out and my mother didn't- instead she had the outcome that many pancreatic patients have b/c the cancer truly is a silent killer.

But it's not that simple.

Four years before she was diagnosed, my mom had three severe bouts with pancreatitis. Each time a young doctor at the med center, a resident or intern, checked her out and told her it was nothing to worry about.

EAch time she was relieved. And in time the doctors discovered the cause of the pancreatitis - she had scar tissue from an ulcer that was causing problems with her stomach. So the doctors tackled that problem and eventually told her she would be fine. Three years later she was back in the ER, admitted to the teaching hospital, exposed to a series of tests,and given an estimated time for how long she had left on earth. In four years she went from, "'You are fine' to 'you are terminal.'"

The young doctor who misdiagnosed mom - to his credit - looked us up in the hospital and he apologized to us as a family. I respect him to this day b/c he acknowledged (without our seeking an apology or any redress) that he had not taken her illness four years earlier as seriously as he should have and that if he had, the outcome could have been different. That took courage.

Everyone makes mistakes - it's not so hard to accept when a teacher loses a kid's paper (and has to have the kid do it over again). Or a secretary temporarily misplaces a file. Or a spouse accidentally backs into someone else's car on the parking lot. It's just so much harder to accept when a medical person does it because they deal with issues of life and death.

AT first I was very angry with that young doctor, but then God clearly spoke to my heart and I knew that this was simply HIs time to take her home. Once He impressed that on my heart -while I was waiting at the hospital for the results of her tests - I never had any anger towards him again - it vanished instantly.

And truly the issues of life and death belong to God and to Him alone. Doctors - most of them - do their best. But they aren't gods; their skills are limited.

But tonight I've also thought about this. When mom was told in 1990 that her pancreatitis was not something to worry about, we were relieved as you can imagine. We rejoiced and she went on with her daily life on the strength of that assurance and the fact that the bouts didn't last long, didn't happen often, and could be handled with a careful diet, etc.

But her emotions and her daily actions - feeling happy, not worrying, getting on with the daily routine, planning for the future - the relief she felt and the sense of security she felt were pleasant. Unfortunately they were not rooted in the truth.

I fully understand that if you fear that you have a dread disease in your body - that you want to go to the doctor and hear good news. But if you actually have a serious disease and the doctor doesn't tell you... or gives you the wrong diagnosis... later you will wish you had gotten the truth from the get go, no matter how unpleasant it might have been.

What is true for the body is also true for the soul.

There are many pleasant teachers and religious organizations that will give you some truth, half truths, or distorted truth. Deceptive teaching always sounds palatable and it usually leads us along pleasant paths where we look good, feel good, etc.

But a life lived on the foundation of spiritual half truths or no truths is the spiritual equivalent of someone who has cancer and has been told they are fine.

My brother once told me: if someone will lie for you, they will lie to you. In other words, if a person or group will lie or deceive in one area, they will do it in another. And if they can take in someone else with their mixture of truth and deceit, they can take in you as well when the time comes simply because you trust them and believe it can't happen to you.

I would encourage everyone who has never done this to set aside preconceived notions and read the New Testament a chapter at a time this year, starting with the gospels. Read the gospels all the way through prayerfully and ask God to show you what is true and what isn't. Don't take someone else's word for it; go straight to the Source.

Because in the final analysis, a life lived on half truths or no truth is really no life at all.

#2015
‪#‎readtheNewTestamentallthewaythrough‬.

Thinking It Through...

Okay... hmmm...
I believe in the Bible and it says that God created the world.
So that requires a lot of foresight, like omniscient foresight..., to figure out how to establish the world so that it continues through the millenniums.

And it would also require a lot of power as well, like as in omnipotent power in order to create the world...

And so, seriously... Is there anything about my sin that He doesn't know about or see? Past? Present? Future? As in - is there something about my sin that I've managed to hide from Him?

To the point that when the Bible says that all of my sin was paid for at the cross... there's a loophole in there somewhere, like as in a tax code several miles thick ...

Or like as in maybe the Bible actually reads: when Jesus died at the cross all my known sins were nailed to the cross but the hidden ones weren't? Or my future ones weren't... (Oh! Wait! All my sins were future back then, right? Because I hadn't been born yet...).

Or maybe He paid for this sin but not that one - the one I still cringe over when I remember it, even years later? Because doesn't He have a sliding scale - a list of various sins and how much forgiveness each requires as well as a list of my righteous deeds and how much each one earns? (Or am I confusing that with drill team and football, where you have merits and demerits? I forget...)

I mean murder can't be forgiven, right? Except Christ forgave His executors while He hung on the cross... And then there's David... But the Bible says God loved Him... So maybe God can forgive one murder but not two?

But then there's Paul who actively sought the imprisonment and execution of a bunch of people ... Oh, but he has to be okay because he wrote about 2/3rds of the New Testament... Well, maybe adultery... that's a really tough one... But not as bad as murder... And there's a prostitute in the lineage of Jesus... And then there's the woman at the well...

When God forgives, He forgives completely, fully knowing every sin you will ever commit before you even drew your first breath.

Forgiveness is not based on what you do. It is based on what He did.

When the guilt and shame of sin has been lifted from your shoulders for-ever, you can't help but love and adore the one who set you free.

If He has forgiven you... who are you to withhold forgiveness from yourself? He's unlocked the door; all you have to do is believe in Him and accept the freedom and purity that He and He alone can give.

2 Corinthians 5:21 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
21 He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

Christmas Poem

Thank You, Spirit of God - I AM-
For stooping to live in me.
For strengthening my inner man, 
For revealing Christ to me.

Thank You for making Christ so real,
Breathing life into my death.
The power of your love I feel,
Tenderly gracing each breath.

I celebrate that this is true:
In Christ’s death, my own is found.
This day I live by faith in You,
Who wrestled sin to the ground.

These miracles we have believed:
Raised to live in Holy God,
All things new we have received.
For this and more, thank You, God.

Ephesians 3:16-19
Galatians 2:20
II Corinthians 5:17

Three Days Before Christmas...

I feel like I celebrated Christmas today... We took some more Christmas baggies around the neighborhood - hope to finish tomorrow. For some reason I was really tired and as David and I headed out the door this afternoon, I just really didn't feel up to it. On top of that, it was drizzling rain. But we've already made up the baggies and I want to distribute them before Christmas is over. So I told myself we could at least finish the trailer park area. We prayed and then headed out.

There is something energizing about meeting people. I love seeing their startled looks when they realize we aren't trying to get them to spend their money on something. And I love how their expressions go from wary to pleasantly surprised. ANd I love it when kid's faces light up and they yell, "Merry Christmas!!"

And I am grateful that God transcends language and culture. One lady opened the door and I could see she was crying. I didn't know if she was in pain or upset. Via pantomime and pigeon English, she indicated she was sad. That was the extent of our verbal communication - we could go no further. I felt helpless - because I was... I didn't even know what was wrong.

And then I put my hands together as if praying and asked her if I could pray with her. She looked at my hands, said, "Yes", and grabbed one of my hands. The prayer was very, very short and very general in nature. She thanked me and I went back to my car.

I hated to leave her like that so I got another baggie, wrote my name on the Christmas letter in it as well as the name of a couple of churches in this area. I also hated to turn right around and knock on her door again, like an idiot. But I did and when she understood that my name was in the second baggie, she thanked me.

But this is the deal: when she opened the door the first time, she looked upset and was crying. When she opened it the second time, she wasn't crying and she looked happy. And I thought, "Okay... God just answered that prayer!"

God did something good for both of us today by letting us meet for a short time and showing us how He can cut through language and culture to go straight to the heart. And I am grateful because He could have met her need without ever letting us meet at all.