Dancing with wings on and pets at your feet?

   
I went to a funeral today; the one who graduated to Heaven went there way too early in my opinion.  He left behind a 5 year-old and a 2 year-old.  And as I watched the five-year-old this morning, I saw her smiling, hopping around  her mom after  the grave side service, tugging at her mom's hand - quiet but happy -   and I thought, "She doesn't understand."
   And she probably doesn't.  Certainly she has no concept of the crushing weight of grief that her mom carries right now.  Or how bleak the days ahead may look to all of the adults in her extended family at this time.
   I thought about how you would tell a five-year-old that her father had just died.  And I remembered many years ago when my husband sat down beside David, who was four at the time, and said in a very gentle voice, "David. Today is a special day... Nana got to go be with Jesus."  At the time I was touched by the tenderness in my husband's voice and by the naivete of David's reply:  "Did she get her wings already??"
   On the day of my mom's funeral, we gave David the option of going to the service or of going to pre-school. He chose the latter and when a friend of ours picked him up from school that afternoon, he told her that his Nana was in Heaven. And then added, "And I bet she's already seen my cat!"
  When my husband and I heard this later, it was the first time since mom's death that we actually just broke down and laughed! My mom had a phobia about cats, absolutely loathed them and could hardly stand to be in the same room with one!
   As I thought about all this, it occurred to me that while little ones can't always take in  the gravity of death, still they do get some things right; things that us  grown-up Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve maybe don't get right. Namely an open-eyed wonder at what their loved one is going to get to do in Jesus' House!  The thought of having wings is pretty awesome when you think about it.   And if you like pets, the thought of being surrounded by your favorite furry friends would also be awesome.  These things, to a child, would be something to celebrate.
  Maybe we don't get wings in Heaven, although according to the book, Heaven is For Real, we do :)  But still, the Bible tells us enough about Heaven for us  to know that it is going to be amazing:   the things we'll get to do and experience (as well as the things we won't have to do or experience..) are literally beyond what we can even imagine on our best days down here. Truly something to celebrate.
  So maybe it takes both an adult's perspective and a small child's to fully grasp the terribleness and also the awesomeness of death; our final enemy and a source of tremendous pain - yet at the same time our entrance into a more fantastic existence than we can ever imagine.
 At any rate,  I think the image of a little tow-headed, sweet-faced girl, quietly hopping around her grieving mother's side will stay with me for a while.  The mom, as is totally normal, trying hard not to break under the weight of sorrow.  The little girl trying to dance to music that we adults used to hear but no longer can?
  I don't know. Really I have no clue what the  child was thinking.  I just know she looked radiant while the rest of us looked sad.
  Just wondering if little kids are more in tune with Heaven's perspective than the rest of us.  And how does it go? A little child shall lead them?
  At any rate, praying for the family and knowing that what is not possible for us, is possible for Him, trusting Him to bring them through the tough days ahead. Knowing that someday, we'll all be dancing in Heaven.

  Unless it's too awkward to dance with wings while all those long-lost pets snuggle at your feet???

This-isn't-going-to-work-for-either-of-us....

   
     Another trip down memory lane...  I guess when you are 57, the lane is a looooonnnnggggg one:)
     There was a time when I thought turning thirty was traumatic.... Little did I know...=/ !!!
      As I was approaching the big three oh, probably the most important phrase in my vocabulary was "biological clock."  I knew mine was winding down with a vengeance and feared I would never find Mr. Right or even more to the point, ever have children.
    At that point, someone came along.  A nice guy with money and two genuinely sweet kids.   I fell head-over-heels in love with his children from the first time I saw them, eventually coming to feel that even if I married ASAP and had my own baby, I could never have a child that would be any sweeter than these two were.
   And of course, there was another issue added to the mix (there always is!) and that was that I lived  with my mom and neither of us were good at doing the odd fix-it jobs that come along when you own your own home.  We saved many projects for my poor brother's annual furloughs. But there were some jobs during the year that couldn't wait and I  hated doing things with hammers, nails and pliers!
   Which leads to another issue: mom and I lived on a shoe-string budget.  Which meant that we usually tried to do things ourselves before bringing someone else in on the picture.
   And then this very generous, gregarious, happy person came into my life with two very sweet kids.  He had been a top salesman and once he realized that his kids and I had clicked, he began to use his sales techniques on me.  The bottom line is that before long, we seldom had a date where he didn't propose to me.  Since I was by no means a femme  fatale, this was heady stuff!  Long-stemmed roses came my way, not once but twice in a very short period of time.  We ate at nice restaurants.  And he repeatedly assured me  that once we were married, he would  see that my mom never lacked for anything.
   The problem was that as I prayed about it, I knew it was not God's will for us to marry. Although I could hide the truth from myself most of the time, when I was on my knees I couldn't ignore the fact that while I loved the kids, deep down inside, I didn't love their father.  I liked him but that's not enough. Basically, I knew we were incompatible.
  So I resisted his proposals until finally one evening, I just tossed in the towel with a mutinous, "Why not?? Why can't I have it easy for a change?  The kids love me and I love them!  His mom loves me!  He loves me! And my mom will be provided for in her old age!   I can make this work, I know I can!"  So I accepted his proposal and for a few weeks we were engaged.
   But underneath, I was uneasy about it and twice I broke off the engagement.  Each time his kids advised him on what to say to me and how to treat me :) and each time I went back!
   One day on spring break, I was traveling to Conway to visit a friend. As I was going over the I-430 river bridge, I decided this would be a good time to pray out loud.  I started off with  this sentence: "Lord, please show me what Your will is..."  But I only got half the words out before I burst into tears.  (Yes, I cry a lot!).  Right in the middle of that sentence, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was not to marry my friend. So much so that I wailed, "But why can't I marry him??!!"
   The answer was a quiet: This is not My will for you.
   Then I wailed, "But I've tried to break it off twice and it just won't stick!!!" (God must have a sense of humor!!!)
   At this point, he made it clear to me that I needed to break it off in person instead of over the phone as I had done in the past.
  Break it off in person!  There was no way!   But I knew I had to. So I just told the Lord that He would have to give me the courage as well as  the right words to say, secretly doubting that it would ever happen.
  Ironically, my persistent friend unwittingly  handed me the very  incentive I needed to go ahead and break up with him!  At that time, our pastor had a book that had just been published and they were selling autographed copies at the church.  On Wed. night, my friend, knowing that I loved to read, had purchased a copy of the book for me.
  My first thought was:  Great!  He's just given me a gift - something I really want - and now I'm going to break up with him??  But as I opened the book at random, I saw a passage about the divine will of God as opposed to the permissive will of God. Basically the pastor used the story of Balaam in Numbers 22.  I know the story is a bit bizarre and that people question the part about a donkey talking to Balaam - but frankly, after some of the conversations I've had over the years, I don't really have a problem with the talking donkey part... ;)
   That particular passage in the book was saying:  God has His plan for your life, His divine will. You can accept His will or you can insist on your own way. If you insist on your agenda, He will let you have it:  that's called His permissive will for your life.  But you need to remember that His permissive will is always  second  or third best.
   I couldn't believe I had opened the book to that particular page so I re-read it again just to make sure I wasn't dreaming.  Towards the end of the passage, the pastor had written a final word of caution: remember that often, just before God brings His first choice into your life, Satan  brings second-best to tempt you.
   Okay, then!  Wow!  I got that message loud and clear!  Not that my friend was inferior in any way but that as a marriage partner, He was not God's first choice for me.  I knew God was telling me that  the ball was in my court: if I wanted to marry my friend, I could. But in doing so, I would forfeit God's best plan for my life. (Ro. 12:1-2)  And not only for my life, but also for my friend's life and for the lives of his kids, since God has a plan for each of His children.
   That was all the incentive that I needed.  During the service I prayed God would give me the right words and help my "This-isn't-going-to-work-for-either-of-us" speech to stick this time without causing too much pain for him or his kids.
   Although there was some pain involved for all of us, within a  few weeks  God totally opened my eyes and brought my own emotions in complete agreement with the step of obedience I had taken earlier.  Then fast-forward to many years later, when I saw that his kids had turned out very  well and that he had made it just fine without me!
   At the time of the big break-up, I couldn't have known any of that. Neither could I have guessed that two years after my "we need to break up" speech, at the age of 32 I would marry God's first choice for me, my husband Phil.  Or that one month before I turned 36,  biological clock notwithstanding, I would hold my own baby in my arms.
   Over the years, I've seen so many others go through heartache because they either didn't seek God's will or, when they got His guidance, they ignored it and insisted on having their own way. (And sometimes the heartache comes when one person is seeking God's face but a loved one isn't... )  As we approach our 25th wedding anniversary, I'm acutely aware of how close I came to losing God's first and best plan for my life.  I'm so thankful that He gave me a timely warning and by His grace, I had enough sense to finally accept it.
   Now I realize even more than I did back then just how important it is to seek His will and surrender to it,   not just give lip-service  but to really accept it.  When I was approaching thirty, His will seemed unreasonable and even hard to me.  Now I can see that it was the wisest course I could have followed, for myself and for everyone involved.

Putting our lack of money where my mouth was...

   Since it's my birthday, I'm going to do one more blog before dogging off for a bit... Sort of, it's my birthday and I can blog if I want to...:)  (By the way, my sister-in-law makes the best birthday cakes eh-vurrrr!!  Thanks, Linda!)
    I guess this is another trip down memory lane, brought on by the devotional cards I browsed through yesterday.
    Everyone has something (or some things) that are like emotional tripwires for them.  Money is one of mine.   The first fight.. ah hem... tense discussion Phil and I ever had as newlyweds was over the green stuff.
    At the same time, I've never had a  problem telling people how I believe in God, how my Heavenly Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills ( Psalms 50:10), and how I trust Him to provide for our needs.
   I'm pretty sure that by now, you can see where this is going...
   Bottom line: about 8 years ago God allowed us to go into a time of testing, where we had the opportunity to put our lack of money where my mouth was.
   Simply put, Phil's boss, who had a stellar record as a business man, ended up in a terrible financial bind because of another businessman's extreme dishonesty.  We knew things were tight in the business at that time but we didn't know how tight until Phil deposited his weekly check one Friday and then noticed later on that our balance showed  a minus 70.00.  He thought the minus sign was an error because he knew we had plenty of money in the bank. I, being the worrier, wasn't so sure. Nothing about it added up.  For one thing, we should have had a lot more than 70 bucks in the bank.
   I went to sleep thinking about it and when I woke up Sat. morning, I knew what had happened. I knew deep in my gut that Phil's pay check from the previous week must have bounced;   it  was the only possible explanation.  I went to the bank where a clerk confirmed my fears but could give me little help since it was not a regular banking day.  While he was talking, tears started rolling down my cheeks.
   My biggest worry was not that a previous pay check had bounced but whether the check deposited the night before would also bounce. And right behind that was a deep concern about how many of our personal checks had bounced and what the penalties would add up to.  Without hesitation, I knew what we should do: Phil would  quit his job  and find a new one.
   I went home where I continued to cry and fret, making myself and Phil miserable.  On Sunday night, I sat down with Phil and used every verbal volley in my arsenal to get him to agree to give notice at work.  He understood my concern and shared it just as deeply as I did.  But he also steadfastly told me that his boss had been like a father to him over the years and had helped him through rough times: the death of his older brother, the death of his mom, and the problems of dealing with an alcoholic father.  Bottom line: he'd talk to his boss about the check and see what happened  from there but  he would not, under any circumstances,  desert his mentor while he was down on his luck. Try as I might, I couldn't budge him from that position.
   I went to work the next day still somewhat spastic and began the process of talking to the bank, talking to my husband, talking to the bank, etc.; wringing my hands in the meantime and crying on every available shoulder.  By midweek, I went so far as to call the business myself, where my comments stirred up a hornet's nest with Phil's co-worker, leaving me once again in tears - this time because I knew I had just made things tough for Phil at work on top of everything else.
  By the end of the week, Phil's boss had taken care of the bounced check and the penalties.  After two or three months, as the pay checks proved to be good, I quit worrying about it.
  After 8 months or so had rocked along,  I found myself at a Christian retreat one afternoon. While   I was sitting on a prayer deck enjoying the scenery, God gently brought up the past, showing me  the incongruity between my "walk" and my "talk". Everyone who worked with Phil knew I was a Christian.  And when the check thing came up, everyone also knew how unglued I had been over that one check.  Actually how nasty I had been over that one check...  Um... what a witness...:(
    I was ashamed.  By God's grace, I bowed my head there at the Oasis and asked God for a "do-over", promising I'd try to do better if we had money troubles again.  A few days later I had to work late and on the way home, I dreaded going into the house because I had left it in a horrible mess. To my surprise, when I walked in, everything in the living room and the dining room was sparkling clean.  When I walked into the kitchen and saw Phil and David just finishing up the last dirty dish, I knew something was up!  When David skedaddled out of the room and Phil turned to me to say, "Cathy, I know what you are going to say to me...:" my heart rate spiked and I thought, "Uh oh, here it comes...."
   The news was this: his boss had told him, apologetically, that another weekly pay check had bounced.  I was relieved and to Phil's surprise responded with:  "I'm not going to say what you think...   God has been "talking" to my heart about this very subject and all I'm going to ask of you is that whatever we do, we honor Him by our words and our actions."
   And then I picked Phil up off the floor... Ha!
   Seriously, even though it was worrisome, at least we were starting off on the right foot,  trying to walk by faith instead of by fear.  We prayed about it, discussed it (as opposed to me trying to tell him how it would be), and then basically told the Lord that as long as we could meet our financial obligations, Phil would continue to work for his mentor.  If  we reached the place where it was getting hard to pay our bills, we would take that as  a sign that Phil was to move on to another job.
   Over the next 5 months, Phil's boss gave him a paycheck every Friday  but with about three-fifths of them, he had to ask Phil to hold onto them for a little while.  Phil just put them in his tool box and went on with his job.
   I wish I could say that I didn't fret and worry over those months but I can't.  I worried periodically about how long our money would hold out, where things would all end up, and even how others perceived us for  what we were doing - would our friends think we were crazy?  And more to the point, would they be right???  Sometime I simply didn't know myself.
  But the times of worry didn't dominate my thoughts or dictate how I acted around Phil or around his boss.  For the most part, I believed God would honor our experiment and He did. Although we had no savings when we went into this pact of faith, we received money from unexpected places and had no trouble paying our bills until the sixth month. At that time, as we had agreed, Phil took that as a sign to move on.   Someone recommended a place to him,  he interviewed the same day and was immediately hired. Over the next few months, he made enough extra money to cover quite a bit of what he had given up in earned income the previous months. When the "experiment" was over, we could look back and see that we had never missed paying our bills.
  I never asked Phil what he did with the checks that he was "holding onto". We both knew his boss hoped to honor them in time because he was (and is) an honorable man so it was possible the checks would be redeemable at a later date.  A few days after Phil had switched jobs, he  told me that he had  prayed about the checks,  felt like it was the right thing to do to give them back to his boss and so that's what  he did. I was really proud of him (and still am!)
  Does this mean that I don't stress over money?  No.  Like the disciples who sat in a boat with baskets of left-overs at their feet and still freaked out at the next "test", I can do the same.  But each time He has to take me back to Money Stress 101 (which, honestly, I hope we don't go there any time soon), I like to think, hope at any rate, that I learn a little faster, stress a little less.  Basically still on a learning curve but grateful for what He has brought us through in the past.

When you can't fix a loved one's pain...

     Years ago my brother, who is one of the best persons I've ever known and a true Christ-follower, was going through a hard time. A really hard time.  One night he called me to tell me what was going on and I instantly went into panic mode. After we hung up, I just paced the floor, praying for him and hoping he would decide to come stay with us for a while.  After all these years, I still remember vividly the helpless feeling that I had after we talked on the phone.  But he didn't come over that night and gradually, through that long night, it dawned on me that there was nothing I could do except pray. But I was really almost too agitated to pray and  somehow, the few prayers I did manage to get out simply didn't feel like enough. In fact, my frantic prayers only added to my anxiety if you want to know the truth. I don't know if you've ever been there and can relate. But that's really where I was.
    Sometime in  that long night  I got the idea of writing down some promise verses that I thought might help my brother through the tough days that lay ahead.  I didn't realize it, but this would turn into  a huge project for me. As the days (and then weeks)  went on, I began to hunt  up appropriate verses from different translations, choosing the translation I liked best. And then, at some point,  I decided to add to the project:  I decided that I would  find an appropriate quote or passage to couple with each verse. So that sent me on a search through hymnals, books by pastors, Christian biographies, workbooks, even taped sermons and Christian calendars, trying to find just the right quote to go with each Scripture.
   I don't know if the verses and quotes, when they were finally done, copied onto cards and such, ever helped my brother or anyone else but they helped me. Tremendously.  As I looked up Scripture, copied the verses down, thought about the various meanings and looked for quotes to put with them, panic gave way to peace. It was amazing!
   For years I carried the verses with me but then, over time, I decided that some of the quotes I used were dorky.  Some of the verses didn't seem like such good selections after all - like, why did I choose that verse?  From Nahum? Really?  A few of the quotes sounded idiotic if you didn't have the rest of the poem, sermon, hymn etc to give it a frame of reference. So I filed my original typed copy away and forgot about it.
  Today, years later,  I thought about them and finally, after hunting for a bit,  found my last copy of the verses, still on whole sheets of card stock paper, laminated but never cut into individual cards.  I felt a little hesitant as I started reading them, thinking it  might be a little embarrassing to re-read what I, in my stress,  had selected over 15 years ago.  I figured that a lot of the  verse selections would be non-sequitars and many of the  quotes would sound lame in light of all the wonderful new Christian books that have come out since I did the cards.. Basically I expected the cards to be like spiritual dinosaurs at best and perhaps a record of my immaturity at worst.
   As I read over them, there were some quotes that didn't mean much to me anymore  and  there were also a few verses that I would  drop, substituting other passages that have taken on more meaning for me over the years.  But overall, as I re-visited these verses/quotes  and then cut them up into individual cards, I felt profound peace, a renewed desire to carry them with me and to meditate on them.
  Many cards evoked memories of  hard times for myself  or my loved ones, times when we couldn't see what lay around the next corner, times when things seemed so uncertain.  Divorce, cancer, job turmoil, financial straits...  Those cards went with me through it all.

The first one pretty much said it all as far as my frame of mind went on that desperate night so  many years ago:
 Matt. 19:26 - Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible but with God, all things are possible."  The quote on the back? "Got any rivers you think are uncrossable?  Got any mountains you can't tunnel through?  God specializes in things thought impossible.  He does the things others cannot do."   
  The quotes themselves say that I  was obviously freaked at the time, envisioning all kinds of dire situations and wanting, needing, actually begging  God to do the impossible. He didn't do things exactly the way  I wanted but He did everything well and He definitely carried us through.   Now, those desperate concerns are a dim memory while  what He did stands out like a beacon in the night, giving me hope for tomorrow.

   Americans love projects and at this time of year, many of us start thinking about Christmas, what we can make, what we can do, what we can buy.  Tomorrow  I turn 57 years-old.  Over the years, I've done cross-stitch, tee-shirt art (not well, but I did it...), creative writing, decorated blessing jars, Christmas bread wreaths, etc.. And all of that is good.  There's nothing wrong with any of it.  But none of those projects come close to the Scripture cards that I started in desperation one night so long ago. If you are looking for a project, I don't think you can beat it. If you are artistic, there's no end to how you can decorate or personalize the cards.
  Most important of all: if you are stressing over a situation you absolutely cannot control, I would really urge you to get out your computer and go for it. Even if  in your pain, the specific cards that you work up speak only to you and to no one else, I think you will be amazed at the peace and joy the effort will bring to you. Both now and later.

Open-line Friday... (Not to mention Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday...)

     What I know (or think I know) determines how I act.  This is certainly true in my relationship with my husband.  For example, I know that he will be  chronically low on sleep whenever he works on a project, pushing himself to stay up late to get the job done.  So when he's re-modeling part of our house, I never assume that he's awake in Sunday School or church:)  In fact, over the years, David and I both have learned how to keep one eye on Phil and the other eye on the pastor... and we both know to lightly elbow Phil in the ribs when his breathing becomes too even...:)
    At the same time, because I know my husband is smart, very much into details, and able to do many different things, I trust him completely  when he says he is going to tear down sheet rock, tile a floor, re-wire something in the house... you get the picture.  I have friends who would probably cringe if their husbands announced suddenly that they were going to  rip out a wall and  who would undoubtedly respond with, "Thanks, Honey.  But.. .um.. no thanks!" I never do.
  By the same token, what I understand about God determines how I interact with Him and on a deeper level, how I respond to all of life.
  Over the past few years, I have returned periodically to a list of God's characteristics that are scattered throughout the Discover God Bible by CRU.  Since I am using that list of twelve attributes right now in my quiet times, I'd like to blog about them, one at a time, for a while.  Again, not to paraphrase a beer commercial too closely... but I guess this blog's for me =/  Still, I hope it will be useful to someone else as well :)
    One characteristic of God  that has meant a lot to me in the last few days is this one:
    Because God knows everything, I will go to Him with all my questions and concerns.
    Definitely, I've had questions this week;   ranging from the serious to the simplistic. I came across a BBC interview yesterday where a well-known financial trader was gleefully saying that the markets would crash - not kidding!  He was actually  excited about it, saying that another crash like the 1930's would be a great money-making opportunity for those who know how to work the markets!! I was stunned as I watched that, thinking: Um, what about the rest of us, duhhhh?   So where do I take  a big worry like that?  I don't have any inside connections on Wall Street, really can't even balance my check book accurately to tell you the truth.
    So I went to the One who will someday use gold for asphalt in His New Jerusalem:)   Really, Lord?  Are we headed toward a re-hash of the Great Depression?  What about the people who live in near-poverty or below already?  Speaking of which, what about my retirement fund?  
   And then there are more personal concerns that have been circling around in my mind such as Lord,  now that I'm retired, I have all this "free" time.   What should I do with it?  How should  I invest it?  And while we're on the subject,  is it okay for me just to be a bum on some days and not accomplish much of anything? (I hope so because I've sure had a lot of days like that lately =/ )
   And then of course my mind jumps back to the more serious ones such as Why is my young friend's husband possibly dying of cancer?  And why is this sweet little one-year-old going through another serious, life-threatening heart surgery?  And why do any little children have to suffer such horrendous things?
    I realize that if God can create the universe, the world, and me, then He definitely can answer my questions.
    At the same time, I understand that my finite mind can't contain all His answers. But what I can take in and what I need to understand, I believe He can and will impart to my troubled heart.
     How do I know that?  Well, God gave me His telephone number :)
     Sort of...

     Actually He gave it to Jeremiah but since I have his  book, I've also got the number! (Like getting the Neiman Marcus cookie recipe from a friend and then finding out everyone else has it too!)  At any rate, here it is:.      Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and incomprehensible things you do not know."  (Jeremiah 33:3)  When God gave this incredible invitation to Jeremiah, the poor prophet was confined to a guard's courtyard, a peon in the hands of a hostile king.  Probably forgotten by many and hated by others.  Yet almighty God bent low and whispered this incredible invitation to Jeremiah, giving  him a secure line to Himself, open 24-7.

   The same line is available to me. And to you. There is a catch to this however... You have to keep the line open from your end, giving Him time to respond.  Psalms 46:10 says, "Be still and know that I am God."  In other words, God isn't into texting.  And while His line is always open, He doesn't hang around forever if our end keeps giving Him a busy signal.
   Call to Me and I will tell you great and mighty things...
   Be still and know that I am God...

   Because God knows everything, I will go to Him with all my questions and concerns.

Want a blessing? Think Iran...

      I woke up this morning thinking about magic carpet rides and tales of a 1,001 nights...
      Yep, it's going to be another weird blog so fasten your seat belts......
      I wonder if you've ever had a picture to "freeze" in your mind and stay that way for years?  And then suddenly you see Aunt Gracie at a reunion and realize that she's totally changed from the way you remembered her.  Or Johnny is no longer pushing a trike around as he was in the photo you have but now is sporting  a beard and has a deep voice - that type of thing.
     When I was in my mid-twenties, I formed some snapshots in my mind of a country called Iran.  Angry students climbing over our embassy wall; our people being held hostage for over a year; crowds burning effigies of our president, Jimmy Carter, and shouting, "Death to the Great Satan, Am-ri-ka!!!"  I formed the impression that the Iranians were primitive, backward,hate-filled people and that photo stayed in my mind for many  years.
     When I taught ancient history, I knew that the Persians had an impressive empire that was very tolerant for that day and age.  I knew that their poetry, their culture, their love of learning was equally impressive.  I knew that they had a heritage that made us Americans look like Johnny-come-latelys, like cultural pikers.
     But somehow, I totally divorced what I knew about the Persians from what I knew about Iran. Yet, it's one and the same place.  Changed a lot over thousands of years, granted. But still basically the same people. People who have a long history of loving great poetry, beautiful gardens, and life in general.
    My perception of Iran began to change in 2006 when the country had a presidential election and "chose" Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as their leader.  Everything I read at that time said that the Iranian people didn't want this guy - and that was really news to me!  News articles said  that a council of 12 religious leaders ran modern-day Persia with a tight-fist and that these leaders (Mullahs) had  basically narrowed down the presidential candidates until the people had a choice between Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum. In other words: no choice at all. You can vote for this religious fanatic or for this one - take your pick....    I had the opportunity to visit with someone from Iran during the election and they verified this was the case - the people didn't want Ahmadinejad but they didn't really have a choice.  Over time, he's proven to be a fanatical nutcase.
   At the same time, I  began to hear about how the great Islamic Revolution that turned Iran upside down in 1979 and led to the taking of our embassy people and the tight-fisted grip of the Mullahs - I began to hear that this great Islamic experiment had totally  backfired, failed; basically had turned hundreds of thousands of Iranians against  Islam, ironically enough. Honestly, I never dreamed that would ever happen. In my mind, I was still seeing those 30-year-old snapshots of Iranian students yelling, "Death to Am-ri-ka!"  and beating themselves on the backs with whips to earn Allah's favor.
   It never crossed my mind that many Iranians quickly became disillusioned with the Ayatollah's government and soon after the revolution, began to search  for peace in other ways.  Sadly,  many of them turned to drugs and today it is reported that Iran has the biggest drug problem of any nation in the world.  It's probably because they have more people in emotional and spiritual pain than any place else on the planet.  Thirty years of being beaten down in the name of religion has taken a huge toll on these people who have such a rich cultural heritage.
   At the same time, I have heard repeatedly and have had it verified by someone again who has traveled extensively in the Middle East, that Iranians are coming to Christ by the thousands.  Although we don't have a precise number, it's estimated that 700 to 800 Iranians profess faith in Jesus Christ each month.  Many are willing to risk death in order to cling to Christ because He gives them peace, He gives them hope.  I guess when you've lived without hope, when you finally find it - you are willing to risk everything to hang onto it.
   So  I'm saying the "snap shots" I formed of Iranian people back in 1979 are faded, cracked, and out-of-date.  (And do the Iranian people have reason to hate the West - they are rich in oil and have a troubled past so what do you think?  If I were Iranian, I probably would have been yelling "Death to Am-ri-ka" back in the 70's too!)   At any rate, while these images remained static in my mind, many  Iranian people were moving forward, seeking to leave the past behind in spite of a repressive government that brutally blocks their way.
   Now one of their pastors is either in jail awaiting execution or has already been executed today or is in the process of getting a reprieve. I haven't checked the news this morning so I don't know what Pastor Youcef's status is right now. I do know that after he was sentenced to death for the crime of accepting Christ, he went through a series of appeals.  At the last one, just days ago, the judge ruled that although Youcef never practiced Islam as an adult, still he had to repent and return to his faith.  Youcef asked what he should repent of and return to? Should he go back to blasphemy?  The judge told him that since his family had been Muslim, he must return to Islam. Youcef replied, "I cannot."  The courage it took to do that, I cannot imagine...
    Iran:  once known as Persia, the land of flying carpet tales and beautiful poetry.  Iran: a land that underwent a harsh revolution in 1979, believing this strict religious experiment would bring peace.  Iran: a land where God is working in ways I've never seen here and where people like Pastor Youcef are taking incredibly brave steps in order to share their faith.

   Each month I pray that God will add at least a  1,000 Iranian people to His kingdom. This idea didn't originate with me.  If you have found peace in Christ, would you join  in praying this prayer for Iran?  And would you especially say a prayer for Pastor Youcef and his family today, as well as for all the other Iranians who are in prison right now for religious or political reasons?
  I'm sure God will bless you if you do.

You've done an awesome job, Job!

     I don't like to see people suffer so one of my least favorite books in the Bible is the book of Job.  For this reason, I wasn't jumping for  joy when I learned last May that we would be studying Job in Community Bible Study this Fall.  However, it's been a good study and I've learned something valuable:  when a friend is really suffering, the best thing you can do is sit quietly beside them, grieve with them,  and keep your mouth shut!  (Something that's not easy for me, as my friends all know!)
   But the thing that really intrigued me and has never been far from my mind during these weeks is the dialogue between God and Satan  at the beginning of the book.  Honestly, I've never really liked the idea that God would brag on Job, bringing the patriarch to Satan's attention, and then cavalierly give Satan permission to make Job's life miserable.
   At the same time, this scene is startling to me, fascinating even, because it's exposing life on two levels: the natural and the super-natural.  Clearly, the inhabitants of the supernatural world are aware of happenings on earth while  we earthlings are pretty much clueless about what's going on in the unseen world around us.
       And this is what sets up the tension in the narrative - a curtain has been pulled back on this extraordinary scene in Heaven and  we know  from the get-go that Job  truly is a good man!   Something his friends should also know but in the heat of the moment, don't!  So you find yourself (or at least I did) wanting to shout at Job's friends, "You've got it all wrong, you self-righteous idiots!"    Equally,  as Job sinks under his afflictions and his "friends'" accusations, it's hard not to stand up and yell, "You've done an awesome job, Job!  Hang in there!  God is sooo proud of you!  And the end is going to be good, really good!"
    But still, even though I "get" all that - God is proud of Job; Job's suffering is temporary; and his blessings will far outweigh what he suffered - I couldn't help wondering why God even brought Job up at all because it just seems to my twenty-first century mind that by mentioning Job to Satan, all God did was  paint a bulls eye on Job's back.   As one of my friends said many years ago:  kind of makes me hope God doesn't brag on me... Like, thanks, God but, um, no thanks!  
    So I went to the Matthew Henry commentary (because I was able to download it on my Kindle for something like 4.00.... Do you know how big that book is???  Four bucks!!!  Wow, what a bargain... Anyway, I digress...) and honestly I couldn't understand all of what Henry wrote about this passage - the "thee's" and "thou's" sort of got in the way and he's a bit wordy for my taste. (Still, four bucks!! :) But I did get some things from him which when combined with the CBS info really helped me.
   1.  God is omniscient.  The first thing God asks  Satan is where has he (Satan) been.  God knows the answer already but  quizzes Satan in the same way an adult might quiz a child, wanting the child to verbalize the answer for whatever reason.
   2.  Satan says he has been walking back and forth on the earth.  I Peter 5:8 goes further by telling us that Satan doesn't just stroll around on the earth to enjoy the scenery. He has a purpose and we need to be alert, to remember that.
   3.  Since Job was so blameless and upright that even God would commend  him, it's hard to believe Satan had over-looked Job.  When God asks if Satan has thought about  His servant, Job, Satan doesn't reply, "Job who?" but instead busts out with, "He's not your guy without reason!! You've got a security wall around him like nobody's business and he's rolling in wealth!!!"  (Slight paraphrase...)
  4. Which brings another point to mind - Satan is devious while God is open.    As Matthew Henry says, Satan implies that Job is a mercenary - that he is for hire to the highest bidder.  Implications are hard to refute and perhaps this is one reason God brings everything, including Job's faith, out into the open.
  5.  And Job's faith is impressive.  God says there is no one else on the earth like Job.  And that's where the line is drawn in the sand:  if Satan can cause Job, the most devout man on earth, to curse God and die (as Job's poor wife suggested), then Satan has proven that faith in God is nothing but a sham. Satan wins; God loses.
     Job has no inkling of any of this.
     In 1:13-15, when the Sabeans steal Job's oxen and kill his servants, Job has no idea that Satan is the one behind this.  Ditto for when lightening falls from the sky and destroys Job's sheep plus more of his servants. When his children are taken as well and then he is afflicted from head to toe with boils, it seems  clear to everyone in the book (including Job)  that something out of the ordinary is going on but at that point they conclude, wrongly, that God is the one who is  ripping Job's life to shreds.
    None of them knew about the gauntlet that Satan had thrown down in the Heavenlies or the fact that God, in His wisdom, had decided to take it up.  None of them knew that eventually Job would receive double for everything he lost.   None of them knew that God would be so angry at Job's friends for the "sound" theological advice they gave that He would rise up in anger against them and only Job's intercession would save their hides.   And none of them for sure ever dreamed that several thousand years later, people would still be drawing hope and comfort from this narrative of Job's testing.
   In Luke 18:6-8, Jesus promised that justice would be done for God's chosen people.  But He ends this passage with what almost sounds like a lament to me:  However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?

   It's a good question.  Down through the centuries, Job's answer is, "Yes..."